28 Feb Negative Self-Talk
As we continue to explore the idea of loving yourself, this week’s focus is on how we
talk to ourselves. Do you ever find yourself being negative towards yourself? Have you ever
found yourself thinking, “I can never do anything right!” or, “I will never be able to reach my
goals?” This is negative self-talk. Essentially, negative self-talk is an inner dialogue that is
harmful on all fronts.
Unlike self-reflection, it isn’t constructive, and individuals often do not feel motivated to
make changes based on these mental statements. It is important to understand that the two are
very different, and how to steer that negative self-talk into something more constructive and
loving. The best way to demolish negative self-talk is to be aware of what it is, when it's
happening, and how to put a positive spin on those thoughts.
So we’ve defined negative self-talk and given examples of it. What do we do to be more
aware of when it’s being practiced at the moment? And how do we prevent it from happening in
the future? Well for one, now that it’s been defined, it will be easier to point out to yourself in
the future. Next time you find yourself practicing negative self-talk, tell yourself that’s exactly
what it is, and put those thoughts into perspective. Are you truly worthless, or do you just feel
worthless at the moment? Why do you feel that way? What can you do to rid yourself of those
It’s important to understand that it’s okay if it happens every once in a while. Nobody is
perfect! What’s important is that you remind yourself that whatever negative things you’re
telling yourself aren’t true. Sometimes things just don’t happen the way you think they will.
Sometimes your goals are unable to be met. But that doesn’t mean that you’re a failure, or that
you’ll never succeed!
When things don’t go according to plan, that just means that you need to head back to the
drawing board and figure out how to achieve what you want in a way that works best for you.
Keep in mind, you should still be realistic with yourself. For example, say you don’t get positive
feedback on an assignment at work. Instead of practicing negative self-talk and telling yourself
that you’re a failure, consider the feedback given to you and think about what you will do
differently next time. It is important to remember that life is full of opportunities and if at first
you don’t succeed, you will have another chance to try again.
It’s hard to combat negative self-talk sometimes. But think of it this way – How would
you react if someone spoke to your loved one the way you spoke to yourself during those low
moments? More likely than not, you probably wouldn’t be too happy with that person. Next time
you find yourself talking negatively to yourself, try to remind yourself that you wouldn’t like it if
someone you love was spoken to like that, and give yourself some credit. Loving yourself is just
as important as loving others.
For more information on how to prevent negative self-talk, contact us here!